you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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