I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
