What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize