she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
