Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if only i could text you this smell
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize