How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
