i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize