guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
