just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
