They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
