I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
