u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
