Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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