That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
