Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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