I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
