I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
