My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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