..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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