you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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