wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
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I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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