Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Randomize
