is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
