You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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