discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
