Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
