I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
