my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
