and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
