No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
