So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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