i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
