Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
