Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
