youre lurking in front of me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
