Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
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The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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