the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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