how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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