She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
