I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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