I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
