Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
