i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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