im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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