He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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