dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
