its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
