White coat. Heels.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
