If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
