we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
