I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
