when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
