Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
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um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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